A Collection Of Quotations - Some of Which Come From Someone’s
Mom:
The hardest thing in life to learn is
which bridge to cross and which to burn.
Every man has a scheme that will not work.
Never negotiate with anyone who has less authority than you.
A clear conscience never fixed anything.
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be
disappointed.
Only the dead get a full pardon.
If you lay down with hounds, you're gonna get up with fleas.
A compliment is sometimes better than the truth.
A bore is a person who deprives you of solitude without providing
you company.
Those who do not understand their mistakes are
condemned to repeat
them.
Behold the turtle who makes progress only when he sticks his neck
out.
Never try to teach a pig to sing;
it wastes your time and it annoys
the pig.
An alcoholic is somebody you don't like who drinks as much as you
do.
Happiness is a highway, not a destination.
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
Pain hurts.
The secret of growing old is having lots of
experience you can no
longer use.
The real enjoyment of fine wine is in knowing when you have had
enough.
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to
too many optimists.
An optimist is a person who never had much experience.
Denial is more than just a river in Egypt.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Logic is any line of reasoning that proves you are right.
If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
It is better to be approximately right than precisely wrong.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Life is like pedaling a bicycle; you won't fall off unless you stop
pedaling.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Yield to temptation----it may not pass your way again.
May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Justice is when the decision is in your favor.
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
Never give a party if you will be the
most interesting person there.
The key to failure is trying to please everybody.
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor
judge of distance.
If you want a place in the sun, you've got to expect a few blisters.
Old age comes at a bad time.
Experience is what you get when you didn't
get what you wanted.
You can't fool all the people all the time,
you need only a
majority.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I see
I should have been
more specific.
I have no time for patience.
Opportunity may knock only once,
but temptation leans on the
doorbell.
Mistakes are the price we pay for living a full life.
TVs need a knob to turn up the intelligence;
the one marked
brightness doesn't work.
Love is like a mushroom. You never know if
it's the real thing until
it's too late.
Don't mistake personality for character.
I've learned that it's easier to stay out of trouble
than to get out
of trouble.
Compromise is the art of dividing a cake so that everybody believes
that he or she got the biggest piece.
It is harder to conceal ignorance than to acquire knowledge.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally
treat with the deepest suspicion.
A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first person who answers the
phone can't help you.
Morality, like art, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
Swallowing angry words is much easier than
having to eat them.
Beware of the man who knows the answer before he understands the
question.
It is those who have tried it most frequently
who are convinced that
marriage is a failure.
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of
the same old ones.
Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations
and choose
the one that will get you home earlier.
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
If you get caught with your pants down,
pull'em up, and lie about
it.
Too many people are ready to carry the stool
when the piano needs to
be moved.
You can't make a long jump without
getting sand in your shorts.
Broadmindedness enables you to see both sides of a problem-------
but not necessarily the solution.
A monkey in silk clothing is still a monkey.
We are all of the same clay, but a jug is not a vase.
Absolute certainty is the greatest illusion of all.
If at first you don't succeed,
you're running about average.
Ignorance is no excuse----it's the real thing.
Procrastination gives you something to look forward to.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand.
Knowledge is power.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing
what people say you cannot
do.
Variety is the soul of pleasure.
Imagination is a poor substitute for experience.
That which is bitter to endure may be sweet to remember.
There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
Hunger is not debatable.
Some people pay a compliment like they expected a receipt.
Idleness is the one fault that we excuse most easily.
You only live once---but if you work it right, once is enough.
Love is like a cigar. If it goes out,
you can light it again but it
never tastes quite the same.
Every pancake has two sides.
Beauty without grace is the hook without bait.
A woman is like a teabag----you can't tell how strong she is until
you put her in hot water.
I soupport publik edjukashun.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
If you shoot for the moon and miss, you're
still among the stars.
The best way to forget all your troubles
is to
wear really tight shoes.
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You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
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GROWING OLDER IS
MANDATORY
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
