SWEET PARADISE


Baby kiss me hold me tight

Don't let go of me tonight

You're all I want You're all I need

Sweet Paradise now hold me tight

Tomorrow I must leave again

and I must not look back for then

to see the tear drops in your eyes

it rips and pains me deep within

Days go by and life drags on

Babe I've been away too long

but all the while that I'm away

you never let your love astray

What I would give to be with you

day to day til days are few

I dream of the day that I'll feel you

embracing me the way you do

I'm coming home to you tonight

baby kiss me hold me tight

I have you in my arms, see your smiling face

make love to me until daylight

For then you know what I must do

again I must say bye to you

but one time I'll walk through the door

never having to part once more

I'll hold you in my arms so tight

and everything will be all right

one night of love need not suffice

forever I'll be in paradise


Written for Paula while the ship was going in and out in preparations for the cruise.



We've been out to sea for four days now, 
though it seems much longer.
The first day was the hardest as it always is. 
I could feel the sadness and grief all around me 
like a dense cold fog. We had to leave our families
for six months, maybe more, to take care of and 
provide for themselves while we are out fighting a 
war, "A real war!" One man gets greedy and sends
armies to take land from others, now we have to go 
and fight this mans armies to get this land back 
for its rightful owners. Everyone is just as concerned
for his own survival as he is anticipating being held 
in the arms of a loved one so that his tears can finally
be released once it is all over. Tears of frustration, 
loneliness, sorrow and fear have been locked away and 
will continue to attempt escape.
Feelings as real as the war itself now plague our minds.
There is little doubt that we will all return, victorious
and very much alive and relieved. Still we must think
about the worst possible scenarios and conclude that defeat
is possible. To fight in a real war is something that very 
few men on this great war ship have done.
Most of us are very new even to the threat of war, but we 
have been trained well and feel strong and able. We will 
continue to train and prepare for the next month before we 
arrive on station in the Persian Gulf. There are high hopes
that this evil man will pull out his troops and make peace
before we arrive, unfortunately this doesn't seem very likely.
For now we will just hope for the best and see what happens.
pray for us and keep faith that we will return.
12 Dec. 90


              

As I got into the shower tonight after a long day at work, I got the feeling that I was forgetting something. Something just seemed to be missing. I took inventory and found all of my effects to be in order, still I could not shake the feeling. I stepped into the shower and adjusted the water temperature to "Hot", which is usually barely warm. As the water ran over my tired body in the usual barely warm temperature I closed my eyes just for a moment as I let all the tension from the day be washed away. I was startled to feel the presence of a warm hand on my back as I heard a sweet voice whisper "Hello Baby" in my ear. I opened my eyes very quickly to find myself standing all alone in the shower. I suddenly realized as the feeling returned, the some- thing that I was missing is you. Once again I closed my eyes in anticipation of your ghostly presence returning. Much to my great despair, I found myself hoping for nothing. For just that instant though, your presence was as strong as if you were actually there in the shower with me. As I thought about this wonderful experience after completing my shower, I once again felt your presence. This time I realized however that, although you are not physically here with me your spiritual presence will be with me everywhere I go.


One of Paula's favorites!

 28 Dec 90
                

REST WELL

Rest well my sweet love. Do not lose sleep worrying so much about the fact that I am caught up in the middle of this war. Remember instead that you too have a job just as important right there at home. You must be able to keep the children at hand, keep all affairs at home in order and keep peace at home while I work to regain peace through war. Rest well knowing that as I look at your picture, I am reminded of all the wonderful things that I am fighting for. Rest well knowing that I love you and I will return home to be with you soon.

I LOVE YOU FOREVER

Written for Paula to let her know that I was doing well and not to worry about the war, but to concentrate on what needed to be done at home.

 17 Jan 91
              


MORNING STAR

As I look toward the East and I search the horizon, my eyes strain hard against the pale morning sun as it rises high up into the dull gray sky. As the sky continues to reveal only its hues of gray, the sun will be the only visible star. Still I keep looking endlessly, day after day, knowing that one day the sky will begin to brighten. Little by little, the sky will turn from gray to blue. One day at a time, it will continue to become more and more brilliantly clear, until the morning when I awake and find the sky to be a bright blue satin, covering the earth and filling it with renewed life and warmth. I long for that day with every bit of energy my soul now possesses. One day my travels will take me back Eastward from where I now stand. One day, I will look to the East and I will be able to see in your lovely eyes, my very own Morning Star.

Written for Paula after looking through a dictionary and stumbling upon "Morning Star" - A bright planet (as Venus) as seen in the Eastern sky before or at sunrise.

19 Jan 91
              

My heart sings out for you, though it's a lonely song.

My arms long to hold you, why must I wait so long
?

I try hard not to be anxious. as per Jesus' holy word.

Each night I pray for patience and I know my prayers are heard.

Through my prayers and through God, I'll keep my sanity.

Until the day has finally come, to hold you tenderly.

29 Jan 91



She's prim and proper. He's hard-core and wild.

She's always a lady. He's often a child.

She loves him so tender with love so, so true.

He sometimes neglects to show he loves her too.

the days go by, turning to weeks, months and years.

Many the smiles of happiness yet, many the tears.

Ten years of matrimony, two beautiful babies.

A lifetime of troubles, a lifetime of maybes.

He wants the best of everything. She doesn't seem to care.

She'd give up all possessions to have him stroke her hair.

They go through life changing. She's more open, less shy.

He has mellowed considerably, knowing she's the reason why.

Growing stronger each minute, together or apart.

Love threatening to overfill and explode their hearts.

The attraction of opposites, different as night and day.

Seen by both as a blessing, celebrated in May.

Their love is so strange, true love so strange and yet,

much stronger than the love shared by Romeo and Juliet.

This heaven sent blessing that brought them together,

is remembered each day as each thanks God for the other.

Date unknown


EYES AS LARGE AS A HARVEST MOON

AS BLUE AS THE VELVET SKY

SMILES AS SWEET AS HONEY

AS INNOCENT AS A SPRINGTIME FAWN

HAIR THAT FLOWS LIKE A PURE MOUNTAIN STREAM

CASCADING OVER SILKY SMOOTH SHOULDERS

BEAUTY SO PURE AND FINE

THE WORLDS RAREST JEWELS PALE IN COMPARISON

12 Feb 91

MY DEAR GODDESS,

The war is going well. we are starting to tire a little, but we are holding up well nonetheless. I'm not quite sure how much longer it will last as only time will tell.

The war is not the reason for me writing to you on this day though. There is something much more important than war tearing at my soul.

I hear from a friend that you've been crying. It saddens me to know this. However, it also leaves me with a feeling of great relief. I am relieved knowing that you are not as strong as you seem in your letters and that I am still a part of your life, as you are writing about all that is well. You hardly ever complain. this is just one of the many wonderful things I love about you. But I know you must be grieving still, since my departure long ago when I set out to sea. I know you must fear the dreadful fact that I may not return on schedule due to this terrible, ugly war. Please try not to let this fact bother you, as it will only make our time apart seem so much longer. As much as I love you, I want you to be the happiest woman on earth. Sometimes it is very hard to keep you happy not knowing at all times what you desire and what causes you pain or grief. You must let me know your feelings so that I can conform to do whatever is necessary to fill your world, just as you have filled mine, with sweet roses. It gives me such a good feeling when you write and tell me that all is well and good. However, I know you well enough to know that you are leaving out the bad so that you will not worry me. You are as strong as I, as I am as weak as you. As long as we are to be equal, we must be willing to tell each other everything. We can't hold anything back. So tell me my sweet lovely goddess, tell me what you desire and what gives you grief. I am 11,000 miles away but, you can still cry on my shoulder.

WITH ALL MY LOVE


Written for Paula after receiving a letter from a neighbor telling me that she was distressed but, holding up regardless.

  18 Feb91